DN and Fluff, Oh My!
by flyaway6
Summary: DN one shots. Just cause I have too many floating around in my head. Read at the risk of losing a few brain cells. Rated T cause T is a cool rating.
1. Trouble

_Disclaimer: I do not own Tortall, or anything that belongs to Tamora Peirce, because of the fact that Tortall belongs to Tamora Peirce. D_

_Pick Pocket update almost done, not that you care, but._

Daine damned her skirts. Not for the first time, mind you. Maybe the 50th- that night.

You see, Daine was at her most favorite social function, a ball. She had idolized them ever since she came to Tortall. How glamorous they were, the fussing, gossip and meddling that went on.

_Fair wondrous_, she thought, _until you go to one your self._

Then, she promptly damned her skirts again.

"Veralidaine, have you seen my daughter? She's over there." A older woman pointed to the flock of women hovering around Numair. "See the tall blonde? That's her."

Daine gritted her teeth.

"Yes, dearest friend of mine, I _do _see those women draped over Numair. Did you know I can shape-shift into something that would eat them?" Was what she wanted to say.

Instead, she demurely answered with a rather dull, "Yes. She's very beautiful."

_And shapely, and gorgeous, and blonde, and other things that I seem to be lacking._

"Oh yes, she's rumored to be the beauty of the court. Say, do you think Master Samalin is quite interested in her? This could be quite to the families advantage, quite."

The woman bustled off, probably to primp up her daughter.

_Daine, Daine, _she reproached herself in her mind, _quit being so rude, your just jealous, and you know it._

And see had even put on a skirt. Daine supposed she could go over and say hello under the pretense of having a question about being tired, and leaving. However, she knew he would catch the hint, but not follow her. They had to remain 'inconspicuous'.

Shrugging, she gathered up some of her skirts in a hand, and walked over to Numair rather slowly and quietly, as not to get on the bad side of his admirers.

She tapped his shoulder, "Numair?"

He turned away from the simpering court ladies, looking rather relived. "Daine."

"I was just going to leave, I'm rather tired," She put in a fake, dainty yawn. "And I thought you might want to know."

"Oh. Would you like me to walk you back?"

Apparently, he _was_ desperate to get away from here. She smiled and nodded.

"Alright. Excuse me ladies." He bowed and stiffly and offered Daine his arm.

"But Master Samalin! You have yet to dance to dance with one lady yet!" The dainty blonde pointed out to Daine earlier batted her eyelashes at him.

"Yes! You must dance with one of us."

The group of ladies nodded earnestly. Daine giggled at the pained expression on Numair's face.

"Go on, Numair, dance with one of the ladies." Daine said, hiding a grin under her hand.

"Numair! Even the Wild Child agrees!" A brunette whined.

"Wild Child?" Numair's eyes smoldered dangerously.

"Opps! Did I let that out? Oh well." She shrugged simply.

"Oh well?" Numair muttered darkly.

"I have a wonderful idea!" Daine butted in. "Why don't you dance with me, Numair? I think it'd be fair fun."

"What?! Numair, don't let her! She's only using you, you know, to get money, and-" The blonde bursted out.

To Daine's surprise, Numair burst out laughing. "Daine is using me? What shall we do with her?"

He smiled politely at the group, now slightly resembling an angry mob, and waltzed Daine off.

"Magelet, see what trouble you've gotten me in now? Your doing horrible things to my reputation." He whispered in her ear.

"Oh really?" She cocked an eye at him. "What reputation?"

He laughed heartily. "You're going to pay for that, dear."

"How?"

Numair grinned at her.

**...there was my first one shot of DN! Quick, cheesy, fluff boost.**


	2. Beauty Sleep

_Disclaimer: I do not own Daine, Numair or Tortall because it belongs to the awesome (and slighty perverted, in my eyes. stiil luf her though. xD) Tomora Peirce. Not me. gasp_

_I know this was really short, but this is really just a drabble. Those only have to be 250 words, right?_

Daine snuggled close to the body that was her warmth source.

" 'Mair?" She murmured sleepily.

"Go back to sleep." He moaned.

"No." She said bluntly.

Numair cracked open one eye to look at her. "Yes. Don't you ever sleep?"

"Of course I do, silly. I just need my beauty rest like you do." She scoffed.

"Quite right. You look fine without it, I, however, look like a reincarnate." Numair placed his lips on her forehead and kept them there.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't want to kiss one of _those_. So I guess I should let you sleep, hum?"

"Definitely."

Daine giggled when his mouth moved against her forehead, tickling her. "Well, then. I'll just get up then."

"I'd rather you not."

"But Numaaair! I'm not sleepy anymore."

"Yes you a_re._" There was a definite undertone in his voice.

Daine didn't notice. "Nope, I'm not. I much druther go on a morning walk."

"No you wouldn't." Numair's arm tightened around her waist.

"Yes I would. Numair, let me go."

"No."

"Numair? Please?"

"Not happening."

"Let me out Numair, or I swear to Mithros I will personally see to it that all your books are burned."

Numair looked thoughtfully at her irked face before letting her go. "I really don't see why you have to be so bloody inconvenient woman."

Daine got up and grinned at him. "You sure you don't wanna come with me?"

All the response she got was pillow being thrown at her.

**Zomg! Another one. is proud of herself I promise to add a continued part of the first chap, and the oh-so awesome revealing drabbles. (You know, when everyone finds out about Numair and Daine? Yup, that kind.)**


	3. Obsession

_Disclaimer: I gasp don't own Tortall, or Daine and Co. Or anything except for my adorable stuffed monka. nods_

_I dunno. Thought it was cute. I might continue it. Who knows? Probably won't. So puh-lease don't send me a review saying to! ._

Varice.

_Varice._

_**Varice.**_

_**VARICE!**_

Daine got annoyed, just repeating the name in her head.

Beautiful Varice.

Mature Varice.

Graceful Varice.

_Perfect Varice._

Shaking her head, Daine turned back to the computer screen which held a 15 page document that she hadn't started yet.

She really had no reason to be mad at _Varice._

Except she's famous.

Except she's filthy rich.

_Except she has Numair._

That was it. Varice had Numair, Daine's handsome, droll-worthy co-worker that she happened to be in huge crush with.

Gigantic.

Enormus.

Immense.

Vast.

_Whopping _crush.

But, she figured, it was all perfectly normal. Who wouldn't be in crush with Numair? He was nice, funny, intelligent- and I'll just quit quoting her there, in case it turns into an essay.

Big essay.

1 billion+ pages.

Trying to forget this, Daine turned to typing up her paper.

-Type- _Don't -_Typitty- _Think -_Tipe_- About _-Typitty- _Numair_ -Type_-_ _Samalin._ -TIPE!- _There he is! Is my lipgloss on right? Is my hair to bouncy? Does he even realize I exist?_

**Woot! Third done. You know how easy writing drabbles are? They, like, rock.**


	4. What Were They Drinking?

_Disclaimer: I do not own Tortall, in any way, shape or form. Mmk?_

_This is absolute randomness. I don't even know where the idea for it came from. Just popped up while I was writing it._

The world was coming to an end.  
It was final.  
Completely, absolutely, final.  
Daine,  
Nice,  
Caring,  
Loving,  
Daine.  
Yes, that Daine, had gotten into a tissue dress.  
It was horrible.  
Onua couldn't believe it was happening.  
Thayet died laughing.  
Jon died of grief.  
Numair gasped.  
And somewhere on the other side of the world, a person ate a grape.  
This, was the person who had caused the tissue dress fisaco. Mithros thought it rather funny.  
The god, who was currently in human form, plucked another grape from the bowl and popped it into his mouth.  
The Great Goddess, on the other hand, was not pleased. She was absolutely detesting her brother at the moment- how dare he make fun of a mortal like that!  
Mithros didn't care.  
Tortall however, did care, as it had lost two of it's monarchs. However, being a sensible country, they grabbed the nearest people (who happened to be Lady Alanna, and Lord Raoul) and put them on the throne. Alanna and Raoul, needless to say, were not pleased.  
Alanna's husband, George, was not pleased either. He rather liked his wife to himself, and mildly considered killing the other knight.  
Numair, sensing this with his ultra-special powers, poured a glass of wine over the theif's head.  
Daine saw this, and, rather happily, poured a tankard of wine over her tissue dress.  
However, there were some little animals living under there at the moment and they all rushed out and attacked the closest thing possible.  
Which happened to be Varice Kingsford. The DN fans cheered. (The author of this story is cheering too)  
Alanna saw this and started doing the thing she did best, chopping up people.  
All the annoying court ladies were killed that night.  
There was a mass funeral where everyone said pretty words.  
Then they took the bodies, gave them to the cook who cut them up further and cooked them, and had a feast.  
No one really liked the court ladies anyways.  
The lesser gods were all crowded around the portals, eating popcorn, agreeing this was the best show in a long time.  
The Tortallian's appetite was amazing though, so Numair turned Perin into apple turnovers, which everyone agreed were very good.  
Daine gave Numair a kiss.  
Numair thought they were very good.

The author doesn't really know what she's writing, and will quit now.

**Wow... Yea, I know, you can flame me now. But what ever.**

**TaeTea- I said 'in crush with' to make it cuter, that's all. And Varice in the Immortals Quartet is Numair's old lover. (Emperor Mage)**


	5. Bad Day

Numair was having a bad day. The dead line for his project was in two days, and he wasn't close to done yet. Varice was mad at him for dumping her, and then dating Daine.

Yes, that probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but...

In the meanwhile he could muse over how she was turning his life into a living nightmare.

In the morning, when he went down to grab a snack from the company refridgerator to grab his breakfast, he found that all his food had peanut butter spread over it. Which he was allergic to.

When he went to find Daine at noon, to take her out to lunch, it turned out that Varice had sent her off to get catering for the senoir members of the company. He wouldn't eat any of it.

When he came back from grabbing lunch from Panera, _alone_, his office was trashed and his research for the project sopping wet and text one big black blob.

Numair couldn't imagine anyone who could be having a worse day.

He sat there, mopping for quite a while until an impatient Daine walked into his office.

"Numair! You said you were driving me home! I was in the parking lot for an half hour!" She scolded.

Numair moaned and hit his computer keyboard, which was defunctioning because someone had poured soda over it.

"Numair?" Daine asked, surprised, and just then took the time to look around his office. "What happened here?"

"Varice." He spat out vehemently.

"Oh." She brushed some brilliantly colored piece of paper of a seat and slid it over next to him. "I'm sorry. This is partly my fault."

Numair, in rather sour mood, just replied: "Yea, it is."


End file.
